I’m Not a Writer
Not really. Not in the way that real writers feel an actual drive to write. I don’t mean to say this as an ‘Oh boohoo, please validate me’ way either. I’m not at all upset by this realisation. But it’s a thought that struck me while I was revisiting my NaNoWriMo/Writing story during my recent Blogger Recognition Award post. I slapped the title into drafts and then let it percolate in my mind a bit and to see where I landed with it after a few days.
It was the draft I acknowledged yesterday as not quite being ready to either throw away or to write about yet.
But I’m going to give it a go now.
Now, if you were inclined to argue — your first vector of attack might be the fact that… Well; hello I run this blog. And several before it to boot. Further, I would freely admit to you that by and large I enjoy the act of putting together a post and publishing it to the world. I’ll help you out further — English was far and away my favourite subject in school and even into University where, while I was doing a Bachelor of Science: Computer Science major — I kept with it as a general education paper. Specifically; Creative writing was my area of interest.
But to counter all that — starting with blogging here; I enjoy the benefits associated with blogging way more than actually putting these posts together. By which I mean — keeping in touch with the community; keeping track of my own history for later perusal; having an outlet to discuss my hobby of gaming… These are the reasons why for me.
And I don’t think I was always cognisant of this fact. Certainly there was a time when I had aspirations of ‘being’ a writer. More: A published author of a successful fantasy series. But these aspirations were never really put to serious action. Sure I participated in a NaNo or three (and may yet do another). Yep, I researched the crap out of everything surrounding the art of writing and moving into being published.
But what I lacked was the drive to put those aspirations into actual tangible hard work. I loved the concept of being a writer far and away more than I loved the reality of being one. Brandon Sanderson — one of my favourite authors — has said he wrote 13 novels before managing to get one published. Thirteen. THIRTEEN! Craziness. I can’t push myself to finish writing just one.
And therein lies the crux of it. And the basis for the statement in the title of this post — I’m not a writer. Because anything bigger than a blog post really is a push. It isn’t something I have a burning desire to do that I simply cannot quench in any way other than writing. Nor do I have the discipline or inclination to push through that lack of desire long enough and hard enough to develop the craft to such a point where I might hit that umpteenth completed manuscript and have learnt enough to strike upon a winner.
But like I said at the top of this post — this is not something I’m upset about; it is just something I wanted to recognise. And by extension point out: You don’t have to ‘be’ a writer to enjoy the act of blogging. There is so much value to be found in it besides the simple act of writing, that it really have something for everyone. :)
This was a post for Blapril 2020, the annual blogging event (albeit usually as Blaugust), brought forward to help bring a sense of community during the challenging time of COVID-19. Blaugust is an event aiming to welcome new blogger blood into the fold and revitalise those who’ve been at it a little longer.
The Blaugust Discord is still available to join in, year round!
